Time Flies June 22, 2008

I am nearing the end of my third (and final) pregnancy. We scheduled the C-section for July 22. I am so anxious about so many things. One of them is leaving my kids for several days. Last time it was only my daughter and she understood so much more than my son seems to comprehend. My daughter has always been a little better at me leaving her for periods of time than my son. I am sure that is because I worked for the first year and half of her life. With my son I only worked a small part time job for about a year and he was sleeping during my work hours. I know, I know, a few minutes after I leave he is fine. Just that I you know as a mother that no one knows your kids better than you do. No one knows just the way they like, oh say their pancakes made or how you have a nightly tradition of kissing both their hands before saying “Goodnight, I love you, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” No one knows Ellie the well loved stuffed elephant, your daughter sleeps with every night, makes sure only good dreams get through. Yes, it’s just for a short four of five days but still you sort of feel like you are abandoning them. I know they will be well cared for though by their father and my mother.

I am also anxious about the c-section itself. Last time I lost my ability to breathe or talk and that was pretty scary. I don’t panic easy but I did at that time and they knocked me out. I really would like to be aware this time to see our last child born-so here’s crossing my fingers on that. Of course, I have the usually anxiety about what if something happens to our baby. What if something is wrong…my first daughter spent nine long days in the NICU but is healthy as a horse today (THANK GOD!) I am writing all this so y’all can say after everything turns out just fine how silly I was to be so anxious-enough about the negative.

We have another ultrasound scheduled for July 3rd so I may have some new pics of the newest little princess after that. I really must get serious about getting ready-I really am not prepared at all. I gave away all of the adorable baby clothes I had from my daughter and I have to dig out the baby stuff I have left as well as make room in my room for her. There is some shopping to do as I gave away some important things after my son was born. So, that’s where my head is now.

By the way, Relay went well although a little too hot for me this year. Even though I was horribly lazy about collecting donations and everything else this year we manged to collect almost $1500. For a little family team I thing that wasn’t bad and I always think who knows maybe that $1500 will be the bit of extra $ needed for the research that blows the horrible Cancer Monster out of the water. Maybe it will be the bit of extra $ to help some cancer patients get transportation to their appointments that normally wouldn’t have because there wasn’t enough funding. You never know-whatever the $ is used for I feel assured it will be put to excellent use. Pictures will follow I am a little slow at getting the pics up these days. Thank you to anyone (again & again) who made donations and or participated.

On Eagles’ Wings May 6, 2008

They sang one of my favorite hymns (my other I mentioned before is the Prayer of St Francis) today at my AUnt Jo’s funeral:

 

On Eagle’s Wings

 

Words and Music: Michael Joncas

 

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shal mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, “My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust.”

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

For to His angels He’s given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

She looked very peaceful and her life was celebrated today by family and friends and a beautiful sunny perfect day. Her granddaughter got up and spoke which I thought was very brave. I have a couple vivid memories of her as her granddaughters are very close to my age and my mom is very close to her daughter so we spent a good amount of time together as we were growing up. One of them is jsut of her laughing so hard at my cousin who was performing some silly antics in pants that were too small for her and the other is of her dancing with my grandmother to some italian tune at a wedding. They aren’t earth shattering memories but depict her outgoing colorful personality. The priest suggested to us to take memories we have and make them a part of us-not being afraid to have a good time would be something I’d like to make a part of me.

Aunt Jo was the wife of my grandfather’s brother, Salvatore or as we knew him Uncle Tudi (I hope I spelled that right.) He was not only his brother but best friend and passed away long ago of lung cancer. This really was the beginning of my awareness of cancer (I was only a teenager) and he is one of my team’s inspirations to Relay.

One of the things I (in my mind) rebel against at funerals is the tradition of wearing black and dull colors. Maybe this is a little morbid but I think natural to contemplate your own mortality but I want to be the one wearing red at my funeral.  I would really want everyone to dress colorful because life is colorful. I understand it’s a symbol of mourning and a time to grieve but funerals are also a celebration of a life. I would hope the emphasis would be on that.

I hope Aunt Jo rests peacfully and feeling celebrated.

 

Happy Valentine’s day February 15, 2008

Tonight I ate a meal-hot and uninterrupted-the way God intended. My husband and I always say we have to do this more often and not let 4 months or even a year pass in between the TWO of us getting out-somehow the monthly outing we promised each other 4 months ago-din’t happen. Oh I adore my children but even they need a break form us from time to time as well. It really does clear the mind and refresh you. So thanks to my sister in law, brother and my mom we had a nice night out. What did y’all do last night? If you didn’t get out last night are you planning a weekend celebration of love?

Speaking of love and Valentine’s day. I was raised under the philosophy that Valentines isn’t JUST for lovers. We celebrated all kinds of love on February 14th-we still do. My husband thinks it’s exclusive to those in love-what do you think?

Pregnancy update January 25, 2008

I lifted this right from this site: http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/calendar/week12

Week 12: Your uterus? Yeah, it’s a softball now

Fetal development in pregnancy week 12:fetus in third month Even though your little Einstein’s body is still growing quite rapidly 2 inches long right now, the overall super-speedy growth of their amazing brain continues to leave the head proportionately larger than the body— and is actually slightly more than one third of their total body mass! The head and neck are still straightening at this point as can be seen by their little chin lifting off of the chest. Your baby is also actively rehearsing “breathing” by using amniotic fluid to prepare the lungs for future air respiration.

The big news: your little pooper is now officially going to need diapers! Although a majority of the waste produced is transferred to the mother’s system for discharge (to avoid having it linger in the amniotic sac), some urine is released to the amniotic fluid and your baby will actually breathe it in before it passing it on to your for discharge. Not to worry, urine–in this particular form, is completely harmless to your baby.

And how’s mom doing? Logically, as your baby is growing bigger, so must your uterus. By now, your once-flat and relatively small uterus is stretched to the size of a softball (12-14 cm), but that’s nothing: by the time you deliver it will have grown to 15 – 17 inches (37 – 42 cm). Your uterus is slowly increasing at a Your uterus is slowly increasing at a rate of approximately one centimeter per week rate of approximately one centimeter per week. If you’ve got a burning sensation that extends from your breastbone to your throat, you’ve got heart burn or acid indigestion. To lessen this unpleasant experience: eat smaller meals and avoid fried, spicy, and fatty foods. Otherwise, there’s always TUMS, but check with your healthcare provider first

As your pregnancy becomes more physically visible, you’ll have to adjust to people asking you when you’re due and giving lots of unsolicited advice from women who’ve “been there.” Additionally, this is probably the right time to share your pregnancy news (if you haven’t already) with close family and friends and anyone you want to have involved in your pregnancy. Allowing your friends and family to have role in your pregnancy encourages participation and support for the future—when you’re really going to need it!

My own personal feelings right now-I am still experiencing morning sickness and hoping that will stop soon. “They” say it USUALLY subsides in the 2nd trimester… the first time around it never ended-2nd time around it wasn’t as bad-I am hoping the 3rd time will be the charm.

#3 December 14, 2007

So, remember a couple posts ago I wrote “Lately I am thinking with all that has been going on I am forgetting about my “better.” I feel something going on in me right now, like I am on the verge of something new-a rediscovery. It’s a glorious feeling.” That feeling wasn’t what I was thinking it was nor the plans I thought I was about to pursue. I guess it’s safe to say now (that almost everyone else knows) that my prior post was referring to the fact that I am pregnant. YES child #3…we were very surprised to learn this on Monday. I am a little anxious as the Dr. told me after I had my son that another pregnancy was not recommended. Apparantly God had other plans, He thought otherwise.

For Better or Worse December 2, 2007

I am not just talking about marriage but really there is “better and worse” in all relationships. Of course the hard part is getting through the “worse. ” In all relationships you have to get through that part with love and the thing is do you love the person enough to get through whatever the worse may be…is that love strong enough? I know I have my worse too that is tough for my loved ones to deal with. I am luck to have so many people that love me no matter what and that I love no matter what. Without that, spinning on this earth would be pointless to me. Lately I am thinking with all that has been going on I am forgetting about my “better.” I feel something going on in me right now, like I am on the verge of something new-a rediscovery. It’s a glorious feeling.

I wouldn’t recommend November 27, 2007

the root canal/flu diet. It works but it totally sucks.

7 birthdays and a Turkey November 24, 2007

On Thanksgiving as well as eating ourselves into oblivion we celebrated 7 birthdays(these were just our October/November Birthday people)…and yes we sang the Birthday song 7 times(there was only 1 cake.) It was suggested we only sing to the “kids” from now on. I disagree (so does at least one of my other cousins and I am pretty sure my Mom-mom would too.) I enjoy celebrating the individual person once a year. I love the little things (that really aren’t so little) my family does that make my family unique and special. I am afraid if we chop away anymore at the little stuff we traditionally do we’re going to lose that unique closeness. I don’t mind so much that we no longer do gifts (there are good & valid reasons for that)…but I can not for the life of me think of one good and valid reason we can’t belt out a Happy Birthday for our loved ones from ages 1-99. The following morning I read me friend Elle’s post “On Christmas Lights” and if you will so kindly click on the link it completely explains why I feel the way I do about “the little things.” Thank you Elle for sharing your beautiful dream and thoughts.

This one’s for my Pop-pop September 22, 2007

It has been 9 years and not a day goes by I don’t think about you…all night working last night I was humming your favorite tune and thinking about favorite memories:

A long time ago
A million years BC
The best things in life
Were absolutely free.
But no one appreciated
A sky that was always blue.
And no one congratulated
A moon that was always new.
So it was planned that they would vanish now and them
And you must pay before you get them back again.
That’s what storms were made for
And you shouldn’t be afraid for
Every time it rains it rains
Pennies from heaven.
Don’t you know each cloud contains
Pennies from heaven.
You’ll find yor fortune falling
All over town.
Be sure that your umbrella is upside down.
Trade them for a package of sunshine and flowers.
If you want the things you love
You must have showers.
So when you hear it thunder
Don’t run under a tree.
There’ll be pennies from heaven for you and me

I think the words say it all. I know you are taking care of everyone up there I hope I am doing half as good of a job here on earth.

Inspiration September 7, 2007

The hubby & I were watching a movie last night about inspiration. It wasn’t a very good movie (in my opinion) but a great true story. I thought about the people who inspire me and I couldn’t name one celebrity or historically famous person.  Those people may impress me from time to time but they don’t inspire me. My inspirations are and have always been the people I am closest to, the people that know me best. Right now my biggest inspirations are my children.  At times the 9/11 tragedy inspires me as it reminds me how precious every moment should be…Who or what are your inspirations?