Time Flies June 22, 2008

I am nearing the end of my third (and final) pregnancy. We scheduled the C-section for July 22. I am so anxious about so many things. One of them is leaving my kids for several days. Last time it was only my daughter and she understood so much more than my son seems to comprehend. My daughter has always been a little better at me leaving her for periods of time than my son. I am sure that is because I worked for the first year and half of her life. With my son I only worked a small part time job for about a year and he was sleeping during my work hours. I know, I know, a few minutes after I leave he is fine. Just that I you know as a mother that no one knows your kids better than you do. No one knows just the way they like, oh say their pancakes made or how you have a nightly tradition of kissing both their hands before saying “Goodnight, I love you, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” No one knows Ellie the well loved stuffed elephant, your daughter sleeps with every night, makes sure only good dreams get through. Yes, it’s just for a short four of five days but still you sort of feel like you are abandoning them. I know they will be well cared for though by their father and my mother.

I am also anxious about the c-section itself. Last time I lost my ability to breathe or talk and that was pretty scary. I don’t panic easy but I did at that time and they knocked me out. I really would like to be aware this time to see our last child born-so here’s crossing my fingers on that. Of course, I have the usually anxiety about what if something happens to our baby. What if something is wrong…my first daughter spent nine long days in the NICU but is healthy as a horse today (THANK GOD!) I am writing all this so y’all can say after everything turns out just fine how silly I was to be so anxious-enough about the negative.

We have another ultrasound scheduled for July 3rd so I may have some new pics of the newest little princess after that. I really must get serious about getting ready-I really am not prepared at all. I gave away all of the adorable baby clothes I had from my daughter and I have to dig out the baby stuff I have left as well as make room in my room for her. There is some shopping to do as I gave away some important things after my son was born. So, that’s where my head is now.

By the way, Relay went well although a little too hot for me this year. Even though I was horribly lazy about collecting donations and everything else this year we manged to collect almost $1500. For a little family team I thing that wasn’t bad and I always think who knows maybe that $1500 will be the bit of extra $ needed for the research that blows the horrible Cancer Monster out of the water. Maybe it will be the bit of extra $ to help some cancer patients get transportation to their appointments that normally wouldn’t have because there wasn’t enough funding. You never know-whatever the $ is used for I feel assured it will be put to excellent use. Pictures will follow I am a little slow at getting the pics up these days. Thank you to anyone (again & again) who made donations and or participated.

On Eagles’ Wings May 6, 2008

They sang one of my favorite hymns (my other I mentioned before is the Prayer of St Francis) today at my AUnt Jo’s funeral:

 

On Eagle’s Wings

 

Words and Music: Michael Joncas

 

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shal mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, “My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust.”

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

For to His angels He’s given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

 

And He will raise you up on eagle’s wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

 

She looked very peaceful and her life was celebrated today by family and friends and a beautiful sunny perfect day. Her granddaughter got up and spoke which I thought was very brave. I have a couple vivid memories of her as her granddaughters are very close to my age and my mom is very close to her daughter so we spent a good amount of time together as we were growing up. One of them is jsut of her laughing so hard at my cousin who was performing some silly antics in pants that were too small for her and the other is of her dancing with my grandmother to some italian tune at a wedding. They aren’t earth shattering memories but depict her outgoing colorful personality. The priest suggested to us to take memories we have and make them a part of us-not being afraid to have a good time would be something I’d like to make a part of me.

Aunt Jo was the wife of my grandfather’s brother, Salvatore or as we knew him Uncle Tudi (I hope I spelled that right.) He was not only his brother but best friend and passed away long ago of lung cancer. This really was the beginning of my awareness of cancer (I was only a teenager) and he is one of my team’s inspirations to Relay.

One of the things I (in my mind) rebel against at funerals is the tradition of wearing black and dull colors. Maybe this is a little morbid but I think natural to contemplate your own mortality but I want to be the one wearing red at my funeral.  I would really want everyone to dress colorful because life is colorful. I understand it’s a symbol of mourning and a time to grieve but funerals are also a celebration of a life. I would hope the emphasis would be on that.

I hope Aunt Jo rests peacfully and feeling celebrated.

 

Sugar and spice and everything nice/Snips and snails and puppy dog tails April 28, 2008

We had an ultrasound last week and the baby is without a doubt a girl! My daughter is very excited-my son still not quite understanding when I asked what he thinks about a baby girl coming to live with us said “A baby…ok, yeh.” I know when joyous parents showed me their grainy ultrasound pics, all proud, I would smile and say “Sure I can see the face-looks like a cutie.” I know people indulge me now-but I still must show them:

 

To the left is a full body shot-baby facing forward. At the time she was laying on her back facing up. I know I can see little toes to the left of that pic (she is in the typical fetal position.) To the right is a profile shot-my Uncle wanted to know if her nose was in the air.  They said everything looks good and she is about 2 lbs 2 oz at this point. Still due end of July.

That evening my neice had her baby boy. I haven’t met him yet but I am looking forward to meeting this handsome little man:

Welcome to the family li’l guy!

Humbled April 27, 2008

I know of someone who is going through a very difficult time right now. This person doesn’t have anyone to hold their hand through this crisis which I find very disturbing.  They are very confused and having to make major, life altering decisions on their own. I absolutely can not even imagine this and it completely humbles me to know that I have so many people in my life that I know if I were the person going through this, not only would I have a strong hand to hold but I would be carried though the situation.  In a life crisis such as this one I know I would never be alone. If you will…Remember my friend in your thoughts and prayers and kiss and hug everyone who loves you unconditionally.

We had everything before us, we had nothing before us February 5, 2008

I was raised in a very close knit, very Italian environment. Although my dad is not italian my mom is 100% and fortunately my dad agreed with most of the traditions that came along with marrying into my mom’s family. It was a wonderful way to grow up, however sometimes I feel like MAYBE I know too much about everyone or I get too involved in personal issues. Most of the time I do not feel that way but once in a while I get overwhelmed. I guess a lot of people do-then-something-a photo, an evening with my family or the following (I found while I was cleaning out my e-mails) reminds me how truly completely blessed I am AND I WOULD NEVER have my family ANY other way. This really puts things we stress about all in perspective:

Written by a family member who like a lot of us, myself included, found themselves in a rough financial situation this past year or so(one of my favorite quotes as well):

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us

I’m quoting these words from Charles Dickens because they are the words that came to my mind last night amidst the warmth and love at Mom’s house.

Yet another Christmas Day at the Pulli’s..noise, chaos, food, confusion, hugs, bright eyes, sadness, excitement, timelessness, exhaustion…all of which are part of the annual celebration….but this year…for me…it was all of that and more.

Admittedly, I was not looking forward to being part of the festivities yesterday….how awkward & embarrassing. I felt almost ‘unworthy’ of my presence there. Christmas just wasn’t Christmas without having gone through the traditions of walking aimlessly in and out of stores…counting down the days and hours left for shopping….stressing over picking out just the right present…feeling that satisfaction of running out of money just as the last store shuts their door on Christmas Eve. What an empty feeling driving over to Moms’ house with a car full of nothing…no anticipation of watching the people you love as they open up what you hope is the perfect gift…and feeling the joy that only giving can produce.

What I forgot was that I am a part of a unit. I forgot that we love each other for who we are…not what we are…

That when it matters most….being in the heart of that unit is what it is all about. There is no gift that is more perfect..no feeling so overwhelming than knowing that you are loved. Regardless of our imperfections…our differences of opinions…our successes our failures…..we are a family unit. I felt that last night possibly more than I ever have…or perhaps it was just so much clearer to me…as I sat and watched what was going on all around the room.

Thank you everyone…for reminding me that it is possible to have everything when you seemingly have nothing….for being an incredible light in a time of darkness. For being..each one of you…a very important part of our family circle.  I am blessed….as we all are to have each other.

Love you all….

To which my mom replied this:

 What a beautiful and elequent note…you say it all for all of us.  There is nothing like family and I know we will continue to stick together through thick and thin no matter what.  Mom and Dad are/were our guiding lights.  We are fortunate to have such a good foundation from which to continue building upon.  Loving and caring is the true meaning of life….everything else pales in comparason. 

Christmas was just as it should be…..all of us being together – whether physically or spiritually. 

Love you, one and all

 I don’t think anyone in my family reads this blog or knows about it-but anyway thank you for all the unconditionl love, wisdom from all ages, endless support and life lessons. Keep them coming!

 

 

Pregnancy update January 25, 2008

I lifted this right from this site: http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/calendar/week12

Week 12: Your uterus? Yeah, it’s a softball now

Fetal development in pregnancy week 12:fetus in third month Even though your little Einstein’s body is still growing quite rapidly 2 inches long right now, the overall super-speedy growth of their amazing brain continues to leave the head proportionately larger than the body— and is actually slightly more than one third of their total body mass! The head and neck are still straightening at this point as can be seen by their little chin lifting off of the chest. Your baby is also actively rehearsing “breathing” by using amniotic fluid to prepare the lungs for future air respiration.

The big news: your little pooper is now officially going to need diapers! Although a majority of the waste produced is transferred to the mother’s system for discharge (to avoid having it linger in the amniotic sac), some urine is released to the amniotic fluid and your baby will actually breathe it in before it passing it on to your for discharge. Not to worry, urine–in this particular form, is completely harmless to your baby.

And how’s mom doing? Logically, as your baby is growing bigger, so must your uterus. By now, your once-flat and relatively small uterus is stretched to the size of a softball (12-14 cm), but that’s nothing: by the time you deliver it will have grown to 15 – 17 inches (37 – 42 cm). Your uterus is slowly increasing at a Your uterus is slowly increasing at a rate of approximately one centimeter per week rate of approximately one centimeter per week. If you’ve got a burning sensation that extends from your breastbone to your throat, you’ve got heart burn or acid indigestion. To lessen this unpleasant experience: eat smaller meals and avoid fried, spicy, and fatty foods. Otherwise, there’s always TUMS, but check with your healthcare provider first

As your pregnancy becomes more physically visible, you’ll have to adjust to people asking you when you’re due and giving lots of unsolicited advice from women who’ve “been there.” Additionally, this is probably the right time to share your pregnancy news (if you haven’t already) with close family and friends and anyone you want to have involved in your pregnancy. Allowing your friends and family to have role in your pregnancy encourages participation and support for the future—when you’re really going to need it!

My own personal feelings right now-I am still experiencing morning sickness and hoping that will stop soon. “They” say it USUALLY subsides in the 2nd trimester… the first time around it never ended-2nd time around it wasn’t as bad-I am hoping the 3rd time will be the charm.

Even a bad day is better than no day at all November 28, 2007

My Aunt got us all to make a note about what we were thankful for this year and her son read them before we ate dinner. Some were funny, some sentimental…my uncle wrote something that struck me. He wrote,unfortunately I can’t recall his exact words, that he was thankful for each day on earth because even a bad day is better than no day at all. I thought wow that is so true. So as I was driving home from work the other morning at the crack of dawn not feeling very apreciative in general after working overnight I saw the most beautiful thing-the moon very large and bright shining in the hues of Autumn and a new day rising  - double wow! I tried to capture how gorgeous it was but really these pictures (my camera is on the fritz) do NOT do it justice:

 

 I thought of my uncle’s words as I admired this scenery. He is a wise man.

On a related note check out one of  my best friend’s posts: The Present she is trying to post a poem or quote each day and I am loving it!

7 birthdays and a Turkey November 24, 2007

On Thanksgiving as well as eating ourselves into oblivion we celebrated 7 birthdays(these were just our October/November Birthday people)…and yes we sang the Birthday song 7 times(there was only 1 cake.) It was suggested we only sing to the “kids” from now on. I disagree (so does at least one of my other cousins and I am pretty sure my Mom-mom would too.) I enjoy celebrating the individual person once a year. I love the little things (that really aren’t so little) my family does that make my family unique and special. I am afraid if we chop away anymore at the little stuff we traditionally do we’re going to lose that unique closeness. I don’t mind so much that we no longer do gifts (there are good & valid reasons for that)…but I can not for the life of me think of one good and valid reason we can’t belt out a Happy Birthday for our loved ones from ages 1-99. The following morning I read me friend Elle’s post “On Christmas Lights” and if you will so kindly click on the link it completely explains why I feel the way I do about “the little things.” Thank you Elle for sharing your beautiful dream and thoughts.

I do November 12, 2007

My brother’s wedding was a blast! A pictage will follow as soon as I gather some pics!!

He won! November 7, 2007

A few posts back I talked about my brother running for office well he won! The “unofficial” results are in… you’ll have to scroll down to BOROUGH COUNCIL CARLISLE BOROUGH 4 YEAR SEAN M SHULTZ (DEM)-he did a great job!