We had everything before us, we had nothing before us February 5, 2008

I was raised in a very close knit, very Italian environment. Although my dad is not italian my mom is 100% and fortunately my dad agreed with most of the traditions that came along with marrying into my mom’s family. It was a wonderful way to grow up, however sometimes I feel like MAYBE I know too much about everyone or I get too involved in personal issues. Most of the time I do not feel that way but once in a while I get overwhelmed. I guess a lot of people do-then-something-a photo, an evening with my family or the following (I found while I was cleaning out my e-mails) reminds me how truly completely blessed I am AND I WOULD NEVER have my family ANY other way. This really puts things we stress about all in perspective:

Written by a family member who like a lot of us, myself included, found themselves in a rough financial situation this past year or so(one of my favorite quotes as well):

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us

I’m quoting these words from Charles Dickens because they are the words that came to my mind last night amidst the warmth and love at Mom’s house.

Yet another Christmas Day at the Pulli’s..noise, chaos, food, confusion, hugs, bright eyes, sadness, excitement, timelessness, exhaustion…all of which are part of the annual celebration….but this year…for me…it was all of that and more.

Admittedly, I was not looking forward to being part of the festivities yesterday….how awkward & embarrassing. I felt almost ‘unworthy’ of my presence there. Christmas just wasn’t Christmas without having gone through the traditions of walking aimlessly in and out of stores…counting down the days and hours left for shopping….stressing over picking out just the right present…feeling that satisfaction of running out of money just as the last store shuts their door on Christmas Eve. What an empty feeling driving over to Moms’ house with a car full of nothing…no anticipation of watching the people you love as they open up what you hope is the perfect gift…and feeling the joy that only giving can produce.

What I forgot was that I am a part of a unit. I forgot that we love each other for who we are…not what we are…

That when it matters most….being in the heart of that unit is what it is all about. There is no gift that is more perfect..no feeling so overwhelming than knowing that you are loved. Regardless of our imperfections…our differences of opinions…our successes our failures…..we are a family unit. I felt that last night possibly more than I ever have…or perhaps it was just so much clearer to me…as I sat and watched what was going on all around the room.

Thank you everyone…for reminding me that it is possible to have everything when you seemingly have nothing….for being an incredible light in a time of darkness. For being..each one of you…a very important part of our family circle.  I am blessed….as we all are to have each other.

Love you all….

To which my mom replied this:

 What a beautiful and elequent note…you say it all for all of us.  There is nothing like family and I know we will continue to stick together through thick and thin no matter what.  Mom and Dad are/were our guiding lights.  We are fortunate to have such a good foundation from which to continue building upon.  Loving and caring is the true meaning of life….everything else pales in comparason. 

Christmas was just as it should be…..all of us being together – whether physically or spiritually. 

Love you, one and all

 I don’t think anyone in my family reads this blog or knows about it-but anyway thank you for all the unconditionl love, wisdom from all ages, endless support and life lessons. Keep them coming!